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User comments:
8th Jun 2012, 3:51 PM
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Great work: but do the page again. I would really like to see what it looks like the second time around.
9th Jun 2012, 12:44 AM
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Thanks!
I think at the moment, the page would look just the same if I did it again, since I only did it last week. I don't think my skills are progressing quickly enough for that to make a difference!
As a general thing, by the time a page makes it up here, it's gone through at least three revisions at every stage from thumb to letters, and more often 5-10. Which certainly doesn't make them The Best Of All Possible Pages, but does make them the best that I can do for now. But I'd love any specific feedback- even if I can't change a given page, I can always consider advice for the future.
Thanks again for commenting!
I think at the moment, the page would look just the same if I did it again, since I only did it last week. I don't think my skills are progressing quickly enough for that to make a difference!
As a general thing, by the time a page makes it up here, it's gone through at least three revisions at every stage from thumb to letters, and more often 5-10. Which certainly doesn't make them The Best Of All Possible Pages, but does make them the best that I can do for now. But I'd love any specific feedback- even if I can't change a given page, I can always consider advice for the future.
Thanks again for commenting!
8th Jul 2012, 1:15 PM
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I really like the 1st panel, the rolling laughter is great! One thing that does bug me is the last panel. It's totally a style thing that you don't see the little dimple at the edge of people's mouths (the modiolus, maybe? Wikipedia you have failed me!) On the other hand, with the extreme close up on Hosanna's face, I keep thinking it needs to be there. Plus, the edge of her mouth makes me look back up at her feet in the 1st panel, instead of down at Leda's face.
25th Jul 2012, 8:10 AM
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Hmmm, do you mean the dimple where the lips meet, or like...under the lower lip when it's pulled tight(I don't know the term either!)? You're right that stylistically that's just a level of detail I wouldn't normally use, but that doesn't mean I can't play with it some in the future. My art is always evolving!
And I'll certainly keep the eyedraw comment in mind too. Maybe a wider gutter...
And I'll certainly keep the eyedraw comment in mind too. Maybe a wider gutter...